Quiet corner
by toomanypickles
Summary: What she thinks. A collection of poems and short prose from her point of view. Finished at 34 chapters.
1. Default Chapter

In her mind

In a quiet corner of her mind she dreamed of flight. She dreamed of sleeping through one night. She wished for everything she ever wanted, and it was still less than they wanted vocally.

Every part of her was quiet. Everything about her reminded the observer of a mouse, something too fragile to make a noise; in case she shattered into pieces, broke out in tears. She was the one in the background, laughing nervously at their jokes, doing as she was told, following leadership. She was a ghost in their lives.

But this corner of her mind, it was silent as a grave, for, in truth, it was a grave. A resting site for all her dreams, everything she had given up expecting. It was this corner that had become a tomb for her memories. But she never gave up hoping.

What did she hope for? She hoped for anything she could, yet she only allowed herself so much hope. She felt as though if she hoped too much there would be less hope for others; that she would be taking away their hope. She would never do anything like that. Instead she hoped for little things, possibilities.

She hoped to be left alone to go her own way. She couldn't bring herself to hoping this would happen for the rest of her life though, if only for a few moments she felt she could be happy with that. She hoped to be as good as everyone wanted her to be, to live up to her father's expectations.

She never hoped to have anyone's love; she wouldn't even hope that he would notice her. That was beyond her fragile little hopes; it was too much. She could wish for it; she wished for it every night, but if she hoped for it she knew she would just be disappointed, and she wasn't strong enough to have her hopes crushed so surely and completely.


	2. Good Morning Sunshine

Good Morning Sunshine

Hinata opened the door slowly when there was a knock. She always opened the door slowly, cautiously. Usually she would peer out through a crack in the door to see who was there, but this morning she had no chance to do so.

"Morning Hinata!" Kiba shouted as he pounced on her, knocking her flat on her back. She sighed as she was effectively pinned down and tried to smile at Kiba's face inches above her own. It was a familiar, if still disturbing sensation.

But today Kiba was feeling extra friendly, and he licked her face. Akamaru jumped out of his jacket and helped him clean Hinata's face too. The gesture was so doglike Hinata had a hard time being offended, and unlike a dog, Kiba avoided her mouth.

When he had finished greeting her he jumped off and into her kitchen, "Mission time!"

Hinata stood slowly and felt her face. It was sticky. She made a face as she went to the sink to clean herself again.

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**Fantastical Queen Ebony Black: Wow, your name is long. eheh. I'm not trying to be pessimistic about Hinata. Um, I kind of have mood swings while writing, so you can probably tell. And I'm not so big on incest, sorry bout that. I don't know if there will even be any couples. Thanks for the kind review, by the way.**

**MKBA: Thanks! It is Hinata, you are correct!**


	3. Watching Videos

Watching videos

They sit around Kiba's tv and watch old videos. She pulls her sweater tighter around her neck. She doesn't know why he wants them to watch these videos so much; she remembers everything that happened in them.


	4. The Dog and the Fox

The dog and the fox

He scared her.

She always thought it was strange. The qualities in Kiba that scared her were the same qualities that she loved in Naruto.

A dog and a fox.

She thought about them, not with any purpose, not thinking about she liked Naruto, not making up wonderful scenarios in which he would declare his love for her. Nothing like that. She thought about them unconsciously, hardly even thinking really. They were just there in her mind, as she was falling asleep.

In every detail they stood there in her mind, paper dolls. And yet, and yet, they were fuzzy. Like half forgotten memories. That was what kept her awake, when she was falling asleep and she thought she was forgetting him. She sat up and concentrate on him, make him clear in her mind. And then she would sleep.

But the other one, he was always there and he was loud and sharp and clear.

Because no matter how much he scared her, she still wished she could be more like him.

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**Chibi Tetra: I luff you too.**

**FQEB: i shortened your name because I'm lazy. I like Kiba too. I didn't really before, but then I did because he's so adorable with his puppy. **

**MKRA: Thanks. I'm trying not to write her too quiet and depressed as some people seem to. But she's so shy...**


	5. What she wonders

What she wonders

She wonders:

Is it ok if I'm angry now?

If I get angry at all the small things,

At dice and fruit

Arms, hands, the weather

She wished it would stop raining for two minutes.

Would it be ok for her to cry?

If she dropped

A spoon, a banner, a knife,

Whatif she's lost?

If she was drowning?

No, she can not cry.

It's not ok.


	6. Floating

Floating in the dark

She'sblind. When she wakes to footsteps, she is blind. Her all seeing eyes fail her in the darkness so she lies there, floating immobile in her blankets, in her mind's eye. The eye that will never fail her.

Silence. In her mind and in her heart everything is silent. All her emotions have been drained away in the night and all she has left is her body, her mind. The house is silent, as silent as her dreams' graveyard, but she knows she heard footsteps.

Someone might tell her she imagined them. That other voice in her mind, the loudest one. The one that told her to be quiet, to be normal. To dissapear. It told her she was imagining things. It told her to forget what she thought she heard. It told her to go back to sleep, to forget she heard anything. But she didn't have to listen to it. She knew she wasawakeand she knew she was not crazy and she knew she heard footsteps in the hall.

So she waits and she listens because she knows she will hear footsteps again, and someday maybe they will be coming to see her. She waits. She is good at waiting.

* * *

**MKRA: Monty Python is the best genius ever! If it was anyone else I might not forgive you.**

**Tetra: I also am undecided as to whether there will be romance.**

**Ebony: Thankies!**


	7. Drowning

How it feels to die

There's water in her ear, in her mouth and nose. She didn't know how to swim, but he pushed her in anyway. He didn't know.

He jumps in and swims after her; she almost expects him to doggy paddle, but he doesn't. He swims very well, pulling her back to shore behind him. He laughs at her, and scolds her for not telling him. She says nothing, becausehe saved her. She never asked him to save her; he was never the one she wanted to jump in after her. But they were a team, that's it right?

She blushes and tries not to cry. Her lungs hurt from all the coughing she's done. Maybe she could cry anyway; it would be hard to notice when they're all so wet. But she can't cry; she's not allowed to cry.

And he's laughing.

And Shino never moved from his place on the shore.


	8. Diseased

Her disease

Every morning she wraps her body in gauze, like a leper she is covered. Around her chest, one, two, three, around and around in front of the mirror. The mirror is deadly. The mirror is Death, and so she dares not look away. Twice around her arms, coveringthe pearl scars, veins criss-crossing her arms.

Her veins are the same colour as her eyes. She smiles when ever she remembers this; her quiet little smile, in case someone notices it.

She wraps herself in enough clothing to weather a snowstorm. Her back sweats all the time, but she doesn't mind. She kind of likes it. She is becoming strong; she is becoming the person they all want her to be. The person she wakes up every morning expecting to be when she throws back her covers the way a butterfly emerges through the chrysalis.

When she looks into her eyes she knows she is not a butterfly underneath it all. She is moth, returning every night to her cocoon because she can't let it go.

She is what she dresses herself to be. She is a leper, a diseased individual no one wants to touch, something disgusting to look at. And yet... time passes and still she doesn't look away.

When he calls from outside her door she breaks away from the mirror to join him. She turns her back on death.

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**Ebony: Yar, thanks for the reviews to you too!**


	9. She is

She is

She is special.

She knows things no one else knows

Or cares

She knows butterflies form from a chrysalis

Everyone else thinks they have cocoons

She smoothes down her hair

The vain little movements she knows are useless

A waste

But she loves them anyway

She can't help but love the useless little things

Combs, flowers, kittens, butterflies.

Not insects. She knows insects are not useless

Not when they're his

She knows combs can be deadly

She knows things that scare her

All these things that scare her and she won't let anyone see

Can't let them know

But what is it that scares her so?

Makes her shiver in her sweater?

She knows what it is

Who it is

But she keeps it a secret

Keeps it hidden in her chest

Like her smile

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**Thanks to my reviewers!**


	10. Strange Reflection

This reflection

She smiles at her reflection, alone in her private place. She found it, when she had thought she could never have this privacy, this freedom. She found this place. It is her gift, a gift from some other being who wants her to be happy. Someone who cares. She loves that someone,that being she doesn't know.

Her reflection smiles back at her. A twisted mirror. 'Maybe this world is just a reflection,' she thinks. Then she thinks what a strange thought that was. How strange it is she has no power over her own thoughts. She laughs quietly, timidly. But then she realizes she is alone; this is her private place, and she laughs louder. Her voice almost scares her, but at the same time she feels wonderful. Alive. So happy.

The sun barely survives on its way through the trees. She likes the shade though, the sun hurts her eyes, makes her blink too much. Kiba always made fun of her, said she was allergic to the sun. She must be a vampire. Sometimes she wished she was.

If she was a vampire, what would she do? She would suck out Kiba's blood and laugh at him. She would be brave and loud and witty. Vampires lived forever didn't they? A whole eternity to come up with witty things to say. She laughs out loud, enjoying her freedom. She'll have to go back soon, but for now, for this moment she will enjoy this feeling.

Would Naruto notice her if she was a vampire? Surely he would, but would he like her then? He would hate her, wouldn't he? Because vampires aren't good creatures, they feed off the blood of others. They kill to be alive. Like that boy. The boy from Sand. She doesn't understand how anyone could feel alive by killing.

Just thinking of him scares her. She feels like thinking of him will call him to her, like a bad spirit. She pushes him out of her thoughts, careful to keep him away.

She likes this reflection, this twisted reflection in the water, better than her mirror. Because while the mirror is Death, water is Life. This is her place. This is where she feels she belongs, by herself. 'This is where I am alive.' She thinks, and she laughs again. She imagines her laughter floating up to join the sunlight and the wind in the leaves.


	11. Birthday Gifts

Every Birthday

Hinata smiles at Shino. It feels fake. It feels like a pale reflection of someone else's smile. Not that Shino would notice. She's not sure he ever notices anything. But she likes him. He's quiet; he doesn't bother people. He would never lick her face.

Kiba laughs. Hinata knows why he's laughing. It's why her smile feels fake. Because she's smiling for the wrong reason. She should be thankful, happy. She is happy, but she's smiling for another reason. Inside she is laughing along with Kiba.

Today is her birthday. And every birthday Kiba will drag her and Shino out somewhere. To buy ice cream and watch old videos. Or out to a remote area of the forest to chase birds. And every birthday Shino buys her a gift and Kiba yells at her.

Every birthday Shino buys her a scarf. This year it is purple.

He doesn't seem to realize this is the sixth scarf he's given her, or that it's a little strange, a little repetitive. That people don't usually give you the same gift every year. He doesn't react to her smile, to Kiba's sarcasm. He is stone.

Her smile fades away, too weak to hold on any longer, but inside the laughter continues. Kiba has not stopped laughing. Every year he laughs and he doesn't stop laughing until Hinata asks him to stop, or something happens.

This year it is a squirrel. Kiba grins wickedly and jumps up into the trees to chase it. Hinata and Shino are left alone in the forest clearing. Hinata coughs nervously and pulls her sweater tighter around her throat, wraps the scarf around her neck to protect herself. She doesn't like this feeling, this one on one.

Shino doesn't react. He is stone.

And she? What is she? She wanders away as she loses herself in her thoughts. If Shino is a rock and Kiba is a dog, what does that make her? Is she really a moth? What is she's something else? Maybe she's a squirrel, like the one Kiba is chasing.

But no one is chasing her.

Kiba falls down, almost on top of her. In his hand is clutched a terrified squirrel. She sympathizes with that squirrel, she feels just as it does. Now she is no longer alone with Shino; she is alone with Kiba.

Kiba grins at her, scaring her even more. He holds out his hand as though to offer her the squirrel, but he lets it go. The squirrel runs away quickly, leaving her there. She wants to follow that squirrel, back to the village. Back to civilization. Maybe Naruto has remembered her birthday…

"Nice scarf."

Hinata tries a smile and touches the scarf wrapped tightly around her neck. It doesn't feel like it's choking her, despite the little squeezing feeling. It's cutting of her air, but it doesn't feel dangerous; it feels safe. She smiles a little wider.

A scarf for every birthday.


	12. Danger Zone

Danger Zone

I have violent thoughts sometimes. Dangerous thoughts. Thoughts that make me want to jump up and slap Kiba in the face. I imagine jumping on him for once. I imagine punching his nose in, how he would look then.

These are the thoughts that feel most out of place in my mind. I hate these thoughts. They are as someone else's thoughts; they feel like intruders in my own mind. I think of that boy when I have these thoughts. Gaara. He scares me as well, but he at least scares everyone. I am not alone in my fear of him. But sometimes I think maybe I understand him a little. And in that I must be alone.

I don't like thinking of Gaara. When he is in my mind he never likes to leave. He stays there until I am finally able to force him out. He is there at night in my nightmares. I wonder if everyone has nightmares like I do. Does everyone else dream of being killed? Killed by anyone, everyone. Those we are afraid of, the ones we trust, the ones we love.

I did. I dreamed Naruto killed me.

I dream of Death.

Once I dreamed Death had everyone in its jaws but me. It was up to me to save everyone and I was powerless. Everyone expected me to save them, but no one has power over Death. How could they expect me to be able to save them from that?

I didn't save them. Before they died though, someone else came to save me. A being of pure light, or maybe hope, they came and took me away, back to my bed. Back to the night.

Sometimes I wonder what he would do if Akamaru ever died. I don't like to think of that; it makes me feel mean. I would never wish death on Akamaru, but he will die someday won't he? They'll die together, I know they will. If one of them ever died the other would be next, within moments.

I think his heart would break.

I think my heart would too.

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**Thanks to all my lovely reviewers (especially you Ebony-chan! 3) and you too FQEB! **

**This chapter feels sort of jumpy, but I still like it. :P**


	13. Secret

She makes up songs in her head. Songs she will never tell anyone about. Ever. Sometimes when she's running, following her team, she hums them to herself, as quietly as possible. She likes to hear them out loud, if only so small and quiet. She likes how calm they make her feel when her heart is racing.

Her songs have no words, only feelings, and hardly even that. Mostly they are… memories. She's not quite sure what exactly these songs mean to her, but they mean a lot. They are everything. They are her reminders. People in her mind. Her friends. Imaginary people sometimes. Or maybe, she thinks, they are real people. People she's never met and maybe they're out there waiting for her. Or maybe she's never going to meet them, maybe she was never meant to. Maybe one of them is that other being that loves her. The one she loves.

The one who gave her her secret place. Because in her secret place she can sing as loudly as she likes. Maybe the secret one wants her to sing, maybe they are always there waiting for her in her secret songs.

Sometimes she feels like she is a secret.

* * *

**Ebony: Aha! I thought it was a little... coincidental.  
I also am a fan of Gwen Stefani. Mostly her old stuff though.**


	14. Dreaming of Death

In my dreams I'm dying.

I can't move. I'm too weak. And Death is ever my companion. Walking through streets of broken glass and shattered dreams.

And he is crying. As though he didn't want this, as though he expected more from me. I think Death wants to be with me, but only in my dreams. Because he must be lonely. Who loves Death? Death walks alone always, except in my dreams.

And sometimes he walks on and away. Sometimes he leaves me behind and sometimes I'm the one crying. Sometimes I feel pity for Death. I know I've failed him and it scares me. I'm not afraid of Death. I'm afraid he'll go on hurting, and I know he will. I want it all to stop. I want the fear to leave them.

In my dreams I can feel his pain. I can feel him as he takes the lives of my friends and cradles them in his arms. His spindly arms that I'm afraid aren't strong enough to hold them. So I find the strength to stand and I walk with him and I help him hold their strength. Together we find the strength we need.

And I know what he needs, in the secret corners of my mind. What Death needs is Life. I believe in a place somewhere, where Life walks through streets as Death walks here. And these two places, they really ought to be the same.

I believe that place would be beautiful. It would be a rose garden. A waterfall. A child's eyes. It will be someday.

But when I wake up it's all just a dream. These dreams of beauty and Death. The hopes I have for him; they're all just a dream, a useless wasteful dream. I know I shouldn't hold on to dreams the way I do. My mind should be clear. But I don't want it to be empty. I want to remember these dreams and the beauty I find in them.

I stand on my dreams, and I know I'll live through the day until I can return to my cocoon. I can make it back to the night, to my dreams.

I always die in my dreams.


	15. Unwanted Hero

Unwanted

She hated that he always saved her. When they were on missions, if she was ever in trouble he would be there to save her. He was always the hero.

"Well I don't want you to be my hero!" she yelled at her reflection in the water. "I hate you and your stupid dog and your stupid smile! I don't want you to save me anymore! Maybe you should just let me die! If I'm not strong enough I deserve to die anyway!"

And she knew that it wasn't just because she wasn't strong enough. Because she was strong enough. She could take care of herself. But he jumped in anyway, to save the day once more. Kiba the hero.

"I hate you. You know that? I really truly hate your guts." She punched the water's surface, trying to imagine Kiba's face in place of her own, but it was hard. She realized that the person she really wanted to be hitting was herself. So she punched her reflection anyway. She punched it and kicked it and she found she didn't want to stop. So she didn't, and she kept on moving further and further into the water as she kicked her reflection. A reflection she couldn't even see anymore.

Finally she just gave up. "I'm not this person. I am not a reflection."

She floated on her back, watching the sky. Birds flew past the sun, leaving strangely shaped spots in her vision.

"I don't want to be a hero." She decided. That was her decision that day, but it felt like a lie. More like an empty promise, something she could never promise to herself.

"I don't want to change the world."

"I don't want to change anything."

"I don't want to be a waste."

"I don't want to be invisible."

And she promised herself the world, and nothing. And everything she promised was a lie.


	16. Dear Friend,

_Dear friend,_

_Thank you for this place._

_And thank you for loving me._

She rolled up the scroll and carefully tied it with a ribbon before placing it in the bowl and sending it off on the waters of her small lake. She watched it float away before closing her eyes and humming a little tune.

Then she walked away.


	17. Leaving

Leaving this world

What is the worst thing in the world? Not being able to cry. When every moment there is that irrational feeling, the tears ready to burst out in waves, and you can't.

And so she was leaving. On her way out of this world she never really belonged to anyway.

Who had she ever been kidding? She would never be fit to represent the Hyuuga clan. And who was there that didn't know? Every morning when she wakes up she will still be a moth, a weak little being, and everyone else sees it too.There were never any footsteps and there will never be anyone coming to see her in the night.

But there is that mysterious being. And whoever it is, she hopes they love her enough to follow her when she leaves. She hopes they will come with her, to the new place she will be able to call home without lying to herself.


	18. Goodbye Kiss

Goodbye Dear

She went to see him one last time before leaving. He might never realize it, but it was thanks to him that she was finally able to tear herself away from this life. Without him she might never have realized just how much she hated this life.

There he was sleeping stretched across his bed. The years had been good to him; she was glad for it. She noticed a wet spot beside his mouth where he was drooling and smiled. She smiled because she would never forget him and his kindness. Because the thought of his energy would be there to bring her energy. She smiled because even after all these years and all he had taught her about courage, she still wasn't brave enough to say goodbye.

Blowing him a kiss she turned and left, and not once did she look back on the sleeping village she was leaving behind.


	19. Walk Away

Just Walk Away

Kiba finds her outside the village. She wonders what he was doing here, so late at night too. She hopes he's not going to try to bring her back, or try to save her. If he does any such thing, she decides, she will hit him.

He just stands there. For once he doesn't scare her with some obnoxious action, instead he scares her with his lack of movement.

She frowns. If she could think of anything to say - anything, it doesn't have to be witty even- she would say it then. All she can think is, 'No.'

But finally, she says nothing. Because she is the quiet one and she will wait for him to speak.

"Um… Are you training?" he asks.

'No.' she shakes her head.

"Why are you out so late?"

'No.' She shakes her head again, to rid herself of that thought plaguing her. "I'm just… I'm leaving." She is glad that this time her voice is not weak and she does not stutter.

"Oh." He doesn't act as surprised as she had expected him to. He seems very accepting, as though he had always expected this to happen. Maybe… Maybe it had always been just a matter of time.

She smiles suddenly, and her mouth feels stretched unnaturally wide. She is surprised that her smile is so big, so truthful. "I'll be back."

"Pfff." Too late he decides to actas thoughit doesn't matter. "Like I'll care when you're gone." Akamaru jumps out of his hood and licks Hinata before Kiba yells at him, calling him a traitor. Before returning to Kiba the puppy gives her one last, long lick.

Then he turns his back on her and waits for her to leave. If only it wasn't you, she thinks, if only you were someone else. Why couldn't it be him?

She doesn't look past him to the village, to see if she can get one last glimpse of his window. To see if maybe there is a blonde boy running after her, waving his arms to make her stay. She doesn't try to see if anyone has noticed her absence yet.She just walks away, just as Kiba expects her to.


	20. Maybe Not

Maybe this road is too long for me to walk

Maybe I won't make it all the way

But then, I don't really know where I'm going

Or how far.

All the places I can go now

They're all waiting for me

Open arms

Out there in the world where I can be anything I want

Where I can cry

Laugh

Sing as loudly as I want

Out there in the world waiting for me

…

Maybe not.

Maybe I'm still lying to myself.


	21. Selfish

A Selfish Thing

She was going to journey into the country of Fire, but she suddenly didn't want to. What if she met him there? What if someone recognized her and asked what she was doing there? What if?

Maybe some other day…

She sat under a tree holding a half eaten apple outstretched before her. Strange, how no matter how bright the outside was, how green or red it might be, the inside was always so pale and white. How inside they all look the same, yet they all taste different. Maybe the outside really does determine their qualities.

'Leaving was a selfish thing.' She thinks. 'But I'm not going to pretend to be strong anymore.' She argues. 'I'm not going to lie anymore.'

"But maybe it wasn't a lie."

She smiles and blushes a little. Surely that wasn't her thought. It must have been placed in her mind by her guardian. That being was her guardian she realized, here to protect her from herself.

But not from the rest of the world. Because maybe she didn't need to be protected from the rest of the world. Maybe she could do that herself.


	22. This Woman

This woman

This woman lives alone in her house on top of a mountain. Hinata heard about her and wanted to meet this woman, and so Hinata went out and found her. And she was where they said she would be; in a house on top of a mountain. It all seems like a fairytale.

This woman says she's lived in the house for decades now. She says she is waiting for the child who left her. She says he promised he would be back one day to take her away to a palace.

This woman, Hinata thinks, she must be lonely after all these years, waiting for a child who has probably been lost in the world. And so Hinata sits with this woman on top of this lonely mountain and together they wait for her child.


	23. And Then

Then Again

Maybe… Why do I use that word so much? I shouldn't feel so confused anymore. I've made my decision; I've gone my own way. So why do I keep saying it?

Maybe.

There aren't really many maybes left for me. After all, I know that every morning I will wake up and I will continue walking along this invisible path wherever I'm going. And I'll never know where I'm going. And that will always scare me a little I think, but it's also so exciting never to know.

So why maybe?

I think:

Maybe I never will go home. Maybe I lied to Kiba that night. Maybe I should have stayed. Maybe I'll die out here and no one will ever find me and bring me home. But maybe I have no home anymore. Maybe I should just give up and go back now.

But I don't want to. I want to keep going. I want to see something else out there, something more than what I was offered back home.

Because I'll always think of it as home, no matter how many maybes crowd my mind.


	24. Lost and Found

Away From Me

He found her in the country of Water. And once again they were alone.

Why did he follow me? She wondered, afraid of him still, and still not understanding why.

"You forgot this." He said, holding out her head protector. The one she had never used to protect her head with anyway.

"I…" she faltered, always so unsure of herself, the little girl. "I don't think I'll be needing it anymore."

"Sure you will," he said, grinning at her with sharp teeth. "Just take it, ok?"

Still she would not move any closer to him. Closer to him, it felt like moving farther away from herself.

"Please Hinata. I didn't track you down all this way just to have you ignore me."

"I'm not ignoring you! I just don't want to take it from you! Why couldn't you leave me alone! And why would you follow me anyway? We don't even like each other!"

His face lost all the sureness and mirth it had held moments ago. "We don't…" he wondered sadly, and she almost felt bad for yelling at him like that. But why should she feel bad for pointing out the truth?

He grinned suddenly, "You know, being out here by yourself has changed you. Or maybe you're just showing me the real you... but whatever it is, I hope we can be a team again when you come back." He threw her head protector to her and ran away, back to his team she supposed.

She watched the spot he had left for a long while, then realized she held the head protector in her hands still. She looked down at the leaf symbol carved into the metal. Why should she have this? Wasn't she a missing nin now? Or wasn't she dangerous enough to even be considered as such?

She looked back at where she guessed he would be now. Maybe she could still catch him if she ran after him. But she wouldn't run after him. After all, they didn't even like each other.


	25. Following

Following Days

Into the darkness

I'll follow them

The winged ones

The ones who can teach me

Decked out in colourful jewels

They laugh

They sing

They are everything I wish to be

Everything I wish I could have

I wish I could be a bird


	26. Her Name Is

And They Call Her

There is a girl who lives alone in the woods, yet she is watched by a village, and they take care of her. They call her Wild Girl and sometimes they laugh. They call her crazy.

Hinata watched her for days. Every day, all day and night the girl would draw on the walls of her house. And if in the morning she realized she had made a mistake in the dark she would scratch it out and start again. The inside of her house is full of beautiful pictures and people, covering every inch of the surface. While Hinata watched her she drew on the outside. People come from the village every day with food for her; sometimes they stay and watch, one woman even combs her hair. And all the while the girl just keeps going and never stops. She works feverishly; she seems almost afraid to stop.

Hinata wonders, what happens when the walls are all covered?


	27. What we are

Flight

I saw him, running through the forest. Only, he doesn't run. He glides, he flies on a cloud of sand. He may be the worst of us all, but he at least knows how to fly.

Why can't there be some way to tell good from bad? Some easy reference, so that when we see a person we can look at them and know: This is a good person.

Maybe there are no good people.

Or maybe he's an angel.


	28. Beached

Shells

I found a shell on the beach today. While I was waiting for the tide to leave I sat with my shell, holding it out to the sea to capture its noise. It's a sound I never want to forget. As long as I live, I will hope to remember this sound.

When the tide goes out I have to hurry to get my oysters. There is a tribe of people who live by the sea, and they too wait for oysters. They're not a bad tribe, but they believe in independence. Every man for himself, even the children. They eat what they get themselves, and if someone doesn't get enough, then that's too bad for them. Only the quickest will live, unless someone is willing to share their own food. I've sat with them at night, around their great bonfires on the beach.

There is a little boy there who reminds me of Naruto. He runs out with the others and tries his best, but he only ever manages to get one or two shells. More often than not, he loses them when they spit at him. The other tribe members refuse to help him, as is their way, and he sits on the edge of the circle while everyone else roasts their oysters.

I offered him some of mine once, and he refused me. I'm afraid he is very much like Naruto, and he will either die young, or he will grow up to be the strongest of all.


	29. Sleepwalking

Night Places

She sleeps with their ghosts beside her always. The ghosts she has created from her memories, from her loneliness. She wakes up to see their faces, but the faces are never there. Her ghosts are faceless. Her love is faceless, masking blue eyes from her sight.

And when she cries she is always alone.

And everything she eats is tasteless in her mouth.

She walks across lands and fields, mountains of solitude. "The world is waiting for me; the world is there for my taking." She repeats to herself, again and again. Because there is truth in repetition.Whispering softly under the noise of wind in the trees. She looks up and the words she has spoken all wait up there in the leaves, waiting for a moment. Waiting for the pin to drop, the angel to fall.

The world at night is a sad place to be all alone, she thinks, and she keeps walking.


	30. Childlike

Something More Than

She looks like a child, but for some reason I think: 'she is not'. Maybe her body is still that of a child but inside she ismurderous and tainted. And the darkness inside is mirrored in those black eyes. They don't reflect the light, those eyes, they absorb it and so they seem like deep pits of endless night. They seem to suck all the goodness from around her, and yet she seems so innocent. But inside she has become so dark and full of death that she has become something more than a child.

But still, not an adult.

She scares me. I hate myself for being afraid because sometimes I feel I am afraid of everything, and yet...

I feel I have good reason to be afraid of this girl, and I know my guardian agrees. There is something wrong with the child.

And still, I hate myself for being so afraid. I hate mself for hating myself. I hate myself for too many things.


	31. Just know

"There's nothing wrong with being selfish sometimes. Everyone is selfish."

Hinata spun around, trying to find the source of the voice. She ran around, trying to sense it, used her all seing eyes,but she couldn't find them. But why should her guardian hide from her? Why wasn't she allowed to see them? She just wanted to know. Just them.


	32. Contagion

Infection

These two live together. They ran away together. Because the boy is a freak, and she loves him. Hinata was surprised at how openly they welcomed her, considering how they must have been treated, but she was glad they were friendly.

The girl welcomed her, anyway, it seems the boy does not welcome anyone. He hurts people, the girl says, and even though he doesn't mean it, they all hurt him more, so he doesn't like people. Sometimes… she starts to say something more, but it goes unsaid.

Hinata watches her closely after that, she sees how softly she talks to the boy, how gently she helps him with whatever he is doing, how she encourages him to speak. How she never touches him.

The boy makes strange noises, sudden noises. He scares Hinata, he reminds her of Gaara, but she doesn't know why really. And once he roared and two eyes popped out on his forehead. The girl went to him then and whispered soft words to him. She patted his back, but their skin never touched. Hinata wonders if there is something, some reason she will not touch him. Instead she sleeps, in the opposite corner that he sleeps in, near the girl.

In the night she wakes up to crying. She watches the girl crying, unnoticed, unknowing.

And Hinata knows, he hurts her, and nobody knows why. And that's why she doesn't touch him, because it hurts her, and maybe he doesn't understand.

How would it feel if your touch was poison to the only one who cared about you? Hinata closes her eyes and her ears and tries not to cry. Tries not to hear the girls pain, her sorrow, because it infects her as well. It would infect anyone who heard it.

And despite her best efforts, it gets Hinata as well, and she cries with the girl, but she cries in silence.


	33. This way now

Better things

Lying in the cold windy air of winter, she finds happiness. Peace in watching her breath drift around her face as she breathes out, long and slow. The wind sweeps it away and she takes in another deep breath of air that frosts her lungs.

"It was me." A voice whispers somewhere and it is carried to her on the wind. "All along it was me."

There is a part of her that knows this is her guardian. This is goodbye. A tear rests on her cheek and stays there, frozen to her skin.

"It was me." She repeats, for that part of her that still thinks that she's been imagining things, that she made up her guardian. To keep that part of her quiet, because she doesn't really like that part of her.

She knows that if she just stood up now and opened her eyes, she could find her guardian. And she could tell them everything, and everything would be ok.

But she doesn't want to anymore. She knows them enough this way, more intimately this way than they could ever know each other face to face. And she likes it better this way.


	34. Go Home

New Promise

The morning sky welcomes her with its warm embrace, with its clean air; a promise that this day will be better than the last. She waits for a while, listening to her heart beating in her chest, thinking of all the places she has been with this heart. All the people she has met and loved with this heart. This heart, she thinks, must surely be bigger than it was before she left.

It must be stronger than it was before. All the life she has seen and let slip through her hands; it will never slip away from this heart. She may never change her world, but she has changed herself.

And maybe, just maybe, it was time to go home.

**THE END**


End file.
